People keep asking me: “ How are you doing this?” I laugh trying not to cry because I prayed for the tough stuff to be over and God gave me a different version of tough stuff.
- In a lot of ways I’m not. If you’ve seen my hair/house in recent days you become pretty aware I nor it hasn’t been cleaned. If you seen me you realize I’ve worn the same shirt for probably a week and there are four baskets filled with clean laundry hiding behind my bed so no one see it should they come into our house.
2. I guess the more appropriate response is. I don’t really have a choice. Mama’s who have come before me have also shared that when parenting a child that has extra needs whether medical or developmental there is no choice. You do it because they are your children and you will walk on fire and cross the world to provide the best you can for your child. Being a mom is a honor, privilege and there is no negotiating. If your child needs something you find a way or fight for a way. Giving up is not in the cards so you fight, and move forward in the darkest of nights because that’s what being a Mom is all about.
3. Jesus + Coffee. I drink a pathetic amount of coffee because I have a child who loves the morning and another who loves the evenings. While navigating different medication times my day starts pretty early and ends pretty late. Scripture.. I swear life would be pretty hopeless without a manuel that’s based on hope. I find myself seeking the word in a very desperate dependent way because at this point its the only comforting piece of this season.
Also a S/O to Rhoda who understands that when a movie goes on after school and P has been up all night that mom needs to close her eyes and listen to the movie to really love it. Aka sleep for the 90 mins of The Lion King. She understands that sometimes-street food is also dinner because the thought of cooking and then doing dishes by hand is sad. Rhoda is patient, kind, compassionate, loving and overall a pretty rad kid. She grew up way faster than she should have but her maturity will bring her far in life and I am humbled at the joy it is to be her Mom. (and then I started crying and had to take a breather because man I love my kids ) If you aren’t a parent yet it might not make sense but seriously the love you feel for your children is so powerful even when they learn to wipe their own butts tears are a flowing. It is just a glimpse into the ways God loves us.
4. Community. I say it a lot.. I talk about it a lot. Mostly because twice in my life have I really experienced a raw large loving community . When I moved to Ghana life was super lonely.. Community was hard to come by and I felt really alone in a lot of some tough stuff and was in the process of letting go of a toxic relationship. I really thought community just wasn’t in the cards for me. Then I stumbled upon a friend in the clinic and BAM.. now I have a community who loves my kids fiercely and takes care of me like their family. I get calls, texts, updates, prayers and they show up at my house to help. Its amazing!! If you do not have a community.. find one, start one, fight for one. If your church doesn’t have a group dedicated to a specific community that you fit into. Talk to them about it. Life is hard and messy and we need a village to do it together. . . to point us to Jesus and to let us cry about Greys anatomy because your fave couple ended.
So when asked the question how are you doing this? The real answer is.. because God has prepared me for the tough stuff, given me grace for when I can’t do it all and given me the people to support my journey. Thats how we do it.