” Cast all of you anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
Before I began paperwork to bring Rhoda and Priscilla home I prayed in depth about a lot of things but one thing kept creeping into my prayers. “God please send a Husband. Ok at least within 10 years. That’s 31 and a pretty prime age to be married by. I’m thinking Navy blue and gold for the wedding.. I’ll settle for plastic place settings though God because you know #StewardofMoney. Ok wait Jesus, I’m really serious though I want a Jesus loving, hard working man that loves to wash dishes and within the next 3 years sounds like a pretty fair deal. Hint Hint Jesus but mostly because I am terrified to raise children alone without a Dad.
That terrifying feeling eventually ended the moment Rhoda asked our taxi driver if he could marry me. Priscilla put an abrupt halt to it as she typically does and a weight was lifted as I realized we were doing ok.
I know the song and dance of not having a dad.. or at least having a bad one. Sometimes I wonder if its easier to not know your dad than have a dad like mine. I can say childhood can really suck in a lot of ways ( not all ways..) without a consistent healthy male relationship and whether or not we admit it.. it can lead to a lot of unhealthy future relationships. I still struggle with my fair share of daddy issues. Aka I never ask for help or let a man hold a door because 1. I don’t understand that it’s a thing that should be normal and 2. Because my dad never took care of me in those tender compassionate ways I get extremely uncomfortable and run away.
I didn’t/don’t want that for my kids. I pray for a God-fearing man who leads, loves and serves Jesus while having a deep love for washing dishes and 5 am. While my “extremely” patient heart waits for that Man.
I stumbled upon some of my favorite photos of our uncles while cleaning my phone storage and had an inevitable AH –HA! Moment.
God : Meghan you are funny sometimes do you not realize you are not doing this alone. Do you not see all the amazing, God fearing men I have placed in you and your daughters lives while I prepare for your husband? ( or While I prepare you to live in singleness.. )
Me: Ok.. well.. ya Alright you got me there they are pretty great.
They are fun loving, patient, God honoring, compassionate men who love and care for my girls in ways I’ve prayed earnestly for day after day. Our life is filled with a large amount of wonderful Uncles who are wonderful examples of Christ and ways women should be treated.
While I still day dream of meeting the man who will be called Dad by my girls and our super pinteresty wedding. I am so thankful for this time of single parenting and watching my girls grow up with amazing male role models.