Singleness, Uncles + Unwashed Dishes Oh My!

 

” Cast all of you anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

Before I began paperwork to bring Rhoda and Priscilla home I prayed in depth about a lot of things but one thing kept creeping into my prayers. “God please send a Husband. Ok at least within 10 years. That’s 31 and a pretty prime age to be married by. I’m thinking Navy blue and gold for the wedding.. I’ll settle for plastic place settings though God because you know #StewardofMoney. Ok wait Jesus, I’m really serious though I want  a Jesus loving, hard working man that loves to wash dishes and within the next 3 years sounds like a pretty fair deal. Hint Hint Jesus but mostly because I am terrified to raise children alone without a Dad.
That terrifying feeling eventually ended the moment Rhoda asked our taxi driver if he could marry me. Priscilla put an abrupt halt to it as she typically does and a weight was lifted as I realized we were doing ok.

I know the song and dance of not having a dad.. or at least having a bad one. Sometimes I wonder if its easier to not  know your dad than have a dad like mine.  I can say  childhood can really suck in a lot of ways ( not all ways..) without a consistent healthy male relationship and whether or not we admit it.. it can lead to a lot of unhealthy future relationships. I still struggle with my fair share of daddy issues. Aka I never ask for help or let a man hold a door because 1. I don’t understand that it’s a thing that should be normal and 2. Because my dad never took care of me in those tender compassionate ways I get extremely uncomfortable and run away.
I didn’t/don’t want that for my kids. I pray for a God-fearing man who leads, loves and serves Jesus while having a deep love for washing dishes and 5 am.  


While my “extremely” patient heart waits for that Man.

I stumbled upon some of my favorite photos of our uncles while cleaning my phone storage and had an inevitable AH –HA! Moment.

God : Meghan you are funny sometimes do you not realize you are not doing this alone. Do you not see all the amazing, God fearing men I have placed in you and your daughters lives while I prepare for your husband? ( or While I prepare you to live in singleness.. )

Me: Ok.. well.. ya Alright you got me there they are pretty great.

They are fun loving, patient, God honoring, compassionate men who love and care for my girls in ways I’ve prayed earnestly for day after day. Our life is filled with a large amount of wonderful Uncles who are wonderful examples of Christ and ways women should be treated.

While I still day dream of meeting the man who will be called Dad by my girls and our super pinteresty wedding. I am so thankful for this time of single parenting and watching my girls grow up with amazing male role models.

Greasy Hair + Laundry Overload

People keep asking me: “ How are you doing this?” I laugh trying not to cry because I prayed for the tough stuff to be over and God gave me a different version of tough stuff.

 

  1. In a lot of ways I’m not. If you’ve seen my hair/house in recent days you become pretty aware I nor it hasn’t been cleaned. If you seen me you realize I’ve worn the same shirt for probably a week and there are four baskets filled with clean laundry hiding behind my bed so no one see it should they come into our house.

    2. I guess the more appropriate response is. I don’t really have a choice. Mama’s who have come before me have also shared that when parenting a child that has extra needs whether medical or developmental there is no choice. You do it because they are your children and you will walk on fire and cross the world to provide the best you can for your child. Being a mom is a honor, privilege and there is no negotiating. If your child needs something you find a way or fight for a way. Giving up is not in the cards so you fight, and move forward in the darkest of nights because that’s what being a Mom is all about.

    3. Jesus + Coffee. I drink a pathetic amount of coffee because I have a child who loves the morning and another who loves the evenings. While navigating different medication times my day starts pretty early and ends pretty late. Scripture.. I swear life would be pretty hopeless without a manuel that’s based on hope. I find myself seeking the word in a very desperate dependent way because at this point its the only comforting piece of this season.

    Also a S/O to Rhoda who understands that when a movie goes on after school and P has been up all night that mom needs to close her eyes and listen to the movie to really love it. Aka sleep for the 90 mins of The Lion King. She understands that sometimes-street food is also dinner because the thought of cooking and then doing dishes by hand is sad. Rhoda is patient, kind, compassionate, loving and overall a pretty rad kid. She grew up way faster than she should have but her maturity will bring her far in life and I am humbled at the joy it is to be her Mom. (and then I started crying and had to take a breather because man I love my kids ) If you aren’t a parent yet it might not make sense but seriously the love you feel for your children is so powerful even when they learn to wipe their own butts tears are a flowing. It is just a glimpse into the ways God loves us.

    4. Community. I say it a lot.. I talk about it a lot. Mostly because twice in my life have I really experienced a raw large loving community . When I moved to Ghana life was super lonely.. Community was hard to come by and I felt really alone in a lot of some tough stuff and was in the process of letting go of a toxic relationship. I really thought community just wasn’t in the cards for me. Then I stumbled upon a friend in the clinic and BAM.. now I have a community who loves my kids fiercely and takes care of me like their family. I get calls, texts, updates, prayers and they show up at my house to help. Its amazing!! If you do not have a community.. find one, start one, fight for one. If your church doesn’t have a group dedicated to a specific community that you fit into. Talk to them about it. Life is hard and messy and we need a village to do it together. . . to point us to Jesus and to let us cry about Greys anatomy because your fave couple ended.

    So when asked the question how are you doing this? The real answer is.. because God has prepared me for the tough stuff, given me grace for when I can’t do it all and given me the people to support my journey. Thats how we do it.

Overcoming 

Days short of exactly two years ago I sat in a tattoo parlor filling out paper for my second tattoo. 
  

I have had my tattoos planned out since I was 17. This one though was my favorite and had the most meaning. Scripture multiple times declares God’s light on the world. John 8:12 “ When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 
For most of my life I lived in a home filled with abuse from my father. ( If you would like some of the story click Here ) It had taken a huge toll and still does on my family. I had experienced 3 different close friends in high school enter the gates of heaven too young. I had experienced darkness I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. 
One truth always reigned: Light will always overcome darkness. It’s a truth I’ve held dear to me in the darkest times both in my past and in my present. “ The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1 
Sitting in that chair two years ago I really did think my darkness was over. I really did believe ( so naïve, I know ) my turn for all things bright was happening. Which in a lot of ways that was true, I was following Gods calling to move across the ocean and work with a church that felt like home in Uganda. I was ready and excited. “ I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness.”- Ecclesiastes 2:13
since that move I’ve experienced more death than I like to admit of children I loved and cared for like my own. I’ve said goodbye to that beautiful village, I’ve experienced friendships ending, ministries failing, closing, heartbreaking realities of poverty and disease. Today as a family we are navigating the next steps in what life will look like at home with a pretty sick child. 
AND .. 
I’ve experienced more truth, encouragement, honesty and love from across oceans. I’ve experienced community in raw and real ways. I’ve fallen in love with a country my children and I call home. I get to watch my children grow in a home filled with love. I get to experience God in ways I didn’t know I could. I get to watch friends and those in the dark begin walking in the light because of a wonderful hospital that feels like home. 
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome.” – John 1;5 

In honor of this season and to fufill our need of a car to use while Priscilla undergoes treatment. 
We will be selling these t-shirts. 

   
 T-shirts $15 + $4 shipping ( US) size s-XXL($2) Tank Tops $22 + 3 size s-XXL (+$3) shipping ( US). All shirts will be ordered and shipped by July 1st ( once all orders and invoices are paid) If you would like one (sizes s-XXL) please comment below or email me at Meghan.liddy1@gmail.com

One of Them

*If you purchased an Auction Item.. they will be in the mail by Monday. If you still have no paid your invoice please do so, so I can get all of your items to you as quickly as possible. Ghana items take about 3-4 weeks shipping. Domestic etsy auction items have been processed and will be in the mail soon. Expect about 2 weeks shipping. 🙂

This year I have had more tangible Ah-Ha moments in my walk with Jesus then I have in any other year. ( I guess thats the point of motherhood right..?) If I counted the amount of hours I’ve spent in a hospital, clinic, insurance office, pharmacy in the past two years on the mission field it probably adds up to at least 3 months. (Someone hire me as a tour guide.. and over here someones bleeding from their eye. #OPD) I know the ins+outs of kumasi hospitals and my phone contacts is a majority of nurses, doctors, residents and pharmacists. ( Sidenote: ALWAYS MAKE NICE TO NURSES, THEY RUN THE PLACE)

This morning at 6am Priscilla and I walked to the junction and hopped on a tro-tro to the hospital. ( Our amazing neighbor and favorite yam seller comes over in the morning until P and I return home. ❤ ) As per the usual.. we had several viles filled with Priscillas sputum for genetic testing. While we waited for the lab to open a mother wearing a mask mask carrying her son (maybe 3 years ) came over and sat with us. While if you know me I am the farthest thing from a morning person, I’ve slowly morphed into being able to fake it on most mornings. #motherhood.

We chatted and started talking about how hard the drugs are on the body, how hard it is to be a member of society when your disease is stigmatized. We talked and slowly I realized .. my idea of missions was shifting from ME helping them to Me being them.  This season has taught me a lot about learning to be served. I was the Mom of a sick child sitting waiting for answers and trying to figure how we as a family were going to navigate this season.

We  giggled as we shared spring rolls (judge my breakfast choices harder )  and talked about the countless hours we’ve spent navigating sick children and the amount of money it takes to raise children. #allthemoney  She laughed as I reminisced to the first weeks of being a mom. They were rough.

This season if nothing else has taught me to swallow my pride, ask for help, trust in Jesus and dig into community. This morning brought me a new and special friendship built on Jesus, and living a life we didn’t imagine.

God is working in huge ways and P is seriously a rockstar patient. I however am the worst nightmare of them all.

Exodus 33:14 “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

We are currently trying to raise $$ to buy a car to use here in Kumasi while P seeks treatment and further for use in future ministry opportunities. IF you feel led to donate please click HERE

Lets Get Medical

On Friday I took a humbling yet comforting deep breath as the doctor came into our consultation room and announced that once again ( yes that means P’s had this twice) Priscilla will be fighting TB. We are awaiting a test that determines whether her TB is a recourrance of her previous spout or if it has come back in a bigger manner MDR TB ( Multiple Drug Resistant TB ). This means at least 6 months of breathing treatments, blood work, X-rays, and a very heavy dose of medication ( that is defined as chemo-like ) to take everyday. If we are told it is MDR our treatment period is a 9-36 month period.

At this point you might be shaking your head saying ummm what is TB?

Tuberculosis (TB) is caused by a bacterium called Mycobacterium tuberculosis. The bacteria usually attack the lungs, but TB bacteria can attack any part of the body such as the kidney, spine, and brain. If not treated properly, TB disease can be fatal. In fact at one point it was the leading cause of death in almost every country. Tuberculosis (TB) is a top infectious disease killer worldwide. In 2014, 9.6 million people fell ill with TB and 1.5 million died from the disease. Over 95% of TB deaths occur in low- and middle-income countries, and it is among the top 5 causes of death for women aged 15 to 44. It is considered the top pediatric killer of children living with HIV.

How does someone get TB ?

TB is spread through a infected person’s sputum being coughed up. This poses a risk to both Rhoda and I. We will be wearing face masks until Priscilla is not longer in the contagion period which usually last 2 months for typical TB and 6 months for MDR. You can also get latent TB and never show symptoms depending on how well your immune system can fight the infection.

What are they symptoms of TB?

Symptoms of TB disease include:

  • a bad cough that lasts 3 weeks or longer
  • pain in the chest
  • coughing up blood or sputum
  • weakness or fatigue
  • weight loss
  • no appetite
  • chills
  • fever
  • sweating at night

    How can you diagnose TB ?

    In places where TB is not common it is often misdiagnosed several times as different lung/chest infections. There are a few different test that indicate TB.
    1. Skin Test
    2. Chest Xray with blood work

Who is at risk for TB?

  • Those living with compromised immune systems and most commonly those living with HIV.
  • Health care professional that come in contact with those who are coughing sputum.

Is there a vaccine to prevent TB?

Yes, there is a vaccine for TB disease called Bacille Calmette-Guérin (BCG). It is used in some countries to prevent severe forms of TB in children. However, BCG is not generally recommended in the United States because it has limited effectiveness for preventing TB overall.

Rhoda and Priscilla’s vaccination history is unknown but she does have a BCG scar which we think indicates a vaccine unfortuently with her compromised immune system, previous neglect her body has been unable to fight TB effectively.

Where can I find out more about TB?

Pediatric TB
TB Prognosis
Multiple Drug Resistant TB
TB in Ghana
History of TB The Truth About TB

We are currently fundraising for a care to give some relief as we seek daily medical treatment. If you are led to donate please visit Liddy Family Car Fundraiser

Tomorrow on Instagram ( @meglidds) we will be hosting an Auction to help get us closer to buying a car. We will also be selling shirts and holding different raffle prizes for the next few weeks. Stay Tuned!

With love from the equator ,
Meghan, Rhoda + Priscilla