For When The Words Come…

 

 

“No movie (Ipad) Mama, my day is sad.”

From midnight to 8:30am I balance two children’s meds and one child’s feeding. I balance hourly bladder checks because night times can be stressful for my littles. You would think that these words would make my start to a Friday harder. This is the start to a whole different type of easier.

“No movie Mama my day is sad.” These words ring so true for today. Rhoda I am sad too today, I am sad that she’s sad but I am also over the moon happy. Today was on of the first days where Rhoda expressed her sadness by herself without being prompted. This alone changes the game. For you Mama’s out there especially those who parent children from hard places you know how much of a milestone this is for our kiddos. ( I am crying both happy, sad and tears of achievement for my little. So basically Friday has turned from sleep deprivation to a sad people party with all the emotions.) Because Mom life.

“No movie Mama my day is sad.” I am happy but my Ghana mommy can’t look at me. I am sad.

I’ve thought about these moments a thousand times, I’ve prayed about these moments and still I am at a loss for words. Mama is sad too, I am sad that her Ghana mommy can’t look at her either. I am sad that my littles have faced so much tragedy in their little lives.

Is it bad that sometimes I wish that this world was perfect and that their Ghana Mommy could be here to watch her littles grow, strive and develop at the speed of light. I love my littles with every fiber in my being but I wish this world wasn’t so darn broken. I wish that littles didn’t have to suffer losing parents. As their Mom should I be wishing I wasn’t there Mom so that their Ghana mommy could be? It seems backwards so so backwards.

“ Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

I hope that each time we talk about their Ghana mommy we can be reminded how thankful we are for her and thankful for the time God gave her on this earth. I want my littles to know and be comfortable to talk and love their Ghana mommy because I love their Ghana mommy.

 

A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The Magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost to me. – Jody Landers

 

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