Today

Today, I am beyond exhausted. I’m so tired it’s hard to get up from the coach to my bed. Today is one of those days I need a little extra grace. Today is one of those days where I could use extra hugs. Today is a day where my heart breaks and is put back together again. Today is one of those days where I have been on my knees pleading and begging for the answers.

I am not the solution. Jesus is, I can’t fix a darn thing. I can’t even fix my toilet. Today and everyday Jesus is the answer. Oh, how thankful I am for Him. Praise Him that we don’t have to be the solution.

Today I sat in the HIV/AID wing of a village clinic. For two hours I sat with my sweet teen mom and her sweet chunky cheek baby waiting for answers. Waiting for test results. Waiting, Waiting, Waiting. I’m not good with waiting. We waited, prayed and paced back and forth. Our mama was diagnosed with HIV immediately after she conceived. We are so thankful her health is good and she is very good at managing her HIV and letting her HIV manage her. We thank God that he has given her a renewed sense of life in the past months. Praise The Lord, our baby was negative at birth. However because she was exposed in the womb and her mother was not taking ARV’s and she has been breastfed since birth she was still being exposed to the virus. Exposed babies get tested every three months and then again after they are done being breastfed. (Usually around 13 months) Today was the second test that was being done on our baby. Each visit brings me to my knees in prayers. I know that HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence. I know that life can be lived abundantly as long as Jesus is at the center no matter what the test results say. I know what HIV means. I also know that this world is painful, people are hurtful and HIV/AIDS carries a lot of stigma. I prayed for results, I prayed for healing and knowledge. I prayed for life abundantly.

Prayers were answered. After two hours of waiting we saw a negative sign next the HIV status. The wave of relief was like a tsunami for us. These Mama’s are my sisters and their children are my children. Days like today I pace back and forth with them pray with them and weep with them. This is my family. Their pain is my pain.

Days like this are not easy. Days like today can take every ounce of energy I have away. Days like today I have to lean on Jesus because otherwise I would fall over. He is faithful always and forever. Please be praying for our mama’s and their babies. We love them and love watching them grow and heal. We have a lot of healing, forgiving and days like today ahead. The greatest thing is Jesus is the greatest healer, forgiver and comforter and he sticks by us forever. Some days are not easy but everyday is worth it.